Peer Review 1 Part 2: Raeanna’s Second Word Project

CRITERIA

5

4

3

2

1

0

Comments
  1. Formatting – MLA/APA headers, titles, indentation, etc.
          * I suggest formatting on word and then adding an attachment file. Margins are 1inch all around. I Personally use apastyle.org, here is the link http://www.apastyle.org/ Scroll down and under quick answers-formatting you’ll find a bunch of information that gets right down to the point.
  1. Introduction – sufficiently forecasted the remainder of the essay
  *         I think past tense would be better for recollection, example found in color black paragraph “…but all I know was I didn’t like it” Change know to knew, I think it will have a better flow.
  1. Conclusion – sufficiently wrapped up the author’s thoughts; connected to intro.
  *         Checking for minor mistakes, example is the second to last sentence in regards to the word plan, planning is the right word. Also I would consider taking out the entire last sentence of the story being jumpy. Non narrative so it’s good.
  1. In-text Citations – at least 2 and properly formatted
          * From what I tell, you do not have any in-text citations. You need at least two. You can look at owl purdue or http://www.apastyle.org/
  1. Works Cited/References – only work actually cited in the paper is included; properly formatted.
          * You need to include a reference list at the end of your project. Here is a great website to help cite pictures http://libguides.monroecc.edu/content.php?pid=210717&sid=1760065And here is a great website for other citation needs http://www.bibme.org/citation-guide/APA/website
  1. Grammar/Mechanics – language choice; punctuation; spelling, etc.
    *       Look out for punctuation an example the apostrophe, move it after the t and before the s in parents’ divorce= Found in the Black Paragraph. Extra I in the sentence “I also at the start of kindergarten I had a speech problem”
  1. Pre- & Post-writing paragraphs – did the author sufficiently describe goals and how to meet them? Did author sufficiently explain how goals were met?
          * You made a note as to one of your goals in your revision paragraph but you need to write and include your pre and post paragraphs. Go to the class website, scroll to the syllabus and under 9/26 will be what should be addressed in the pre and post paragraphs. http://marlenharrison.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/fyw-101-writing-inquiry/#sc
  1. Flow – transitions between paragraphs; all sentences in a paragraph related; no run-on or fragmented sentences.
  *         You’ve got good flow, especially since you added a description of the colors. Look out for minor grammar mistakes the will interrupt your flow. Examples have been mentioned in the introduction and grammar and mechanics.
  1. Hooked and maintained reader interest.
*           You’ve got a good hook. Your introduction made me want to continue, I didn’t have to force it.
  1. Genre – Met the needs of the intended genre.
      *     You are heading in the right direction. An expository narrative is acceptable as we discussed with Professor Harrison in the Oct. 8th meeting. I think that some in-text citations will help convey your project as non-narrative.
TOTAL = 22 Add’l comments: It’s a thought I have, maybe you want to explore it or not. Try writing in color. The paragraph headings write them in the color they are explaining, maybe the paragraphs too.

 

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