Peer review #1: Raeanna’s second word project

  1. Formatting – MLA/APA headers, titles, indentation, etc.
There is a reference list, however when citing the author’s last name is spelled out comma first name initialed. Owl purdue has a couple of pages on APA citing depending on the type of source. Here is the page:
  1. Introduction – sufficiently forecasted the remainder of the essay
  1. Conclusion – sufficiently wrapped up the author’s thoughts; connected to intro.
I think it ends a bit abruptly.
  1. In-text Citations – at least 2 and properly formatted
There are two in-text citations. Your first one all it needs is (author’s last name, year).
  1. Works Cited/References – only work actually cited in the paper is included; properly formatted.
Refer to number 1
  1. Grammar/Mechanics – language choice; punctuation; spelling, etc.
Be on the look out for minor mistakes for instance “He red lipstick might sound a warning, or passion.” He I am guessing is meant to be her.
  1. Pre- & Post-writing paragraphs – did the author sufficiently describe goals and how to meet them? Did author sufficiently explain how goals were met?
There are no pre or post paragraphs with goals.
  1. Flow – transitions between paragraphs; all sentences in a paragraph related; no run-on or fragmented sentences.
I like the way it reads. It definitely has flow. And the breakup of your text makes it easier to read. The character’s thoughts are italicized which is a good thing because it diferniates between the characters inside thoughts and what he is telling the reader.
  1. Hooked and maintained reader interest.
I found it to be very a very compelling story. I was intrigued when I first started to reading to see where it was headed.
  1. Genre – Met the needs of the intended genre.
The writing project was meant to be non-narrative and unfortunately this is a narrative. There was no specific genre assigned just as long as it wasn’t a narrative. I had the same problem when writing mine.
TOTAL = 31 points
Add’l comments: This is a great narrative and if we cannot find a way to turn it around I suggest you keep this and maybe think about switching your narratives or just posting this on your blog as another story. Your grammar and punctuation are really good just some minor typing mishaps. The color incorporation connects the project with your blog and the in-text citations give you the ethos you need.

3 thoughts on “Peer review #1: Raeanna’s second word project

  1. Marlen says:

    +3 mentioning ethos

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